Bike or not dating physical boundaries in christian dating relationships

For many of us, our first encounter with this idea was reading Joshua Harris’ book I Kissed Dating Goodbye.Each represents a woman that the groom dated and gave a piece of his heart to, before he had meet his bride.Finally, it’s a problem that’s disappointing many of the young Christian women in our lives. My father has many memories of giving the cute girl from youth group a ride home on the handlebars of his bicycle, while my grandfather had something of a reputation for dancing with all the eligible young ladies at Christian fundraisers.But somewhere among books like I Kissed Dating Goodbye, a lack of relationship role models and trying to navigate the minefield that is modern dating, something changed for our generation.Maybe I was naïve, but I also don’t think I’m the first person who’s ever been confused about whether or not a hiking/biking/climbing outing was actually a date. Bikes and philosophy dominated the conversation, so when he suggested I stop by his house so he could show me his new cyclocross rig, I thought nothing of it. It’s so easy to say, “We should go climbing some time,” isn’t it?We had pedaled for a couple of hours on our bikes, out of the city and back, and on the way back he suggested we get something to eat. And so difficult to say, “Would you like to go out to dinner with me?Do not pass go, do not gradually get to know each other in a relaxed setting.Part of this seriousness, I think, can be attributed to the belief that you give part of your heart to every person you date.

Feeling victorious as she lowered off a particularly challenging toprope pitch, she realized her partner was apparently even more stoked than she was when she touched the ground. We could have endless “When Harry Met Sally” debates about whether men and women can really just be biking/climbing/hiking partners without one party getting more attached.

Andrew Swafford makes the point that one way or another, the friendship is going to change as life goes on.

“Either you’ll eventually marry this girl, or you’ll find your calling elsewhere,” Swafford writes (in which case, given the underlying attraction, it probably won’t be appropriate to stay as close to this her as you currently are). Sure, for better or worse, letting a girl know how you feel is going to change the friendship. Either this girl reciprocates your feelings (*fist bump*), in which case, let the dating begin!

is an under-graduate, studying theology and law at the University of Auckland.

He lives in New Zealand, loves to surf, and hopes to challenge youth to be everything God created them to be.

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